Kids Lying

If you have kids, or spend time with kids, you already know that they lie their little butts off. Kids will lie even if they aren't actually in trouble. You can ask two siblings, "aww who painted this pretty picture?" and a sudden outburst of "SHE DID IT!...NO SHE DID IT!" will occur. Until of course they realize that you are not mad, at which point they will start to tell you that they did it all by themselves, etc.

My own nephews and nieces happen to be master liars. I've been told that once, my sister and brother in law came downstairs in the morning, following a trail of blue puddles of paint, to find the youngest daughter naked, and covered in blue, smearing a large circle of blue all over the kitchen floor. When they finally reached the source of all the blue, she proceeded to point at her perfectly clean sister and say "Bridget did it!". Now that is some very smooth lying. Don't get me wrong, her sister has her fair share of schemes and plots as well; however, being the older one, she has become much better about covering her tracks. For instance, I once went half a day of babysitting before finding several empty banana peels in the trash can, a banana covered knife in the sink, and some soap spilled on the counter and into the sink. The explanation behind this: When I babysit for the weekend, I usually try to wake up when they do, but end up falling back asleep for a half hour or so. Upon seeing that I have fallen asleep for all eternity, the girls decide that they have been orphaned, and have no choice but to take matters into their own tiny, but capable hands. They sneak downstairs, pull a chair up to the counter, get a couple of bananas and a knife from who knows where, and make themselves breakfast. Bridget knows that if I come downstairs to this, she will be doomed to stand in the corner for at least 20 seconds until I inevitably feel bad and let her off the hook. So she throws the peels into the trash can, pulls a chair up to the sink, gets out the sponge, dumps some soap on the knife, and starts scrubbing. She also tries her best to wipe the banana off the counter as well. Satisfied with herself, she brings her sister back upstairs and pretends they have been there the whole time. When finally confronted, she smoothly informs me that Chloe was getting in trouble this morning. Did I mention that they are 2 and 3?

My other sister's boys may possibly be worse liars than their cousins, but are much more dedicated to the art of lying. After an hour of being scolded for lying, and replying with "I'm not lying!" over and over again, I once had to inform my 6 or 7 year old nephew that I, myself, had spent most of my life lying to my own parents, so that is how I knew he was lying. He wasn't sure what to say to that one, but I'm sure he still denied the lie...which would of course be lying again.

The third set of nephews and nieces are basically angels who, if they have lied, probably confessed in shame a minute later. They've been told on more than one occasion, I'm sure, not to tell their parents that I, or one of their other cool, young aunts or uncles gave them ice cream or let them watch a show they weren't supposed to be watching. This backfired every time with us being chewed out the next day after they informed their parents that they were told not to tell. Of course this is the way it should be. I'm not complaining. Though I haven't spent as much time with them lately, so they may have developed the ability to lie by now. I will set a trap for them and report back.

The other siblings' children are animals and can not tell lies, though they try so hard to speak the human language.